A Team Effort: Practicing Self Care and Allyship for LGBTQIA Colleagues in the Workplace
Tyler Young, ED&I Generalist | Syngenta | October 2023
For many, especially individuals belonging to historically underrepresented identity groups, navigating social dynamics and the processes of having needs met in the workplace can occasionally present challenging hurdles. While this is an experience familiar to people of various identities and beliefs, it’s one that also resonates with members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and/or agender/aromantic/asexual communities (LGBTQIA+), many of which may experience situations where they feel like their identity must either be hidden, or they are otherwise unable to live as their authentic selves unchallenged.
So, let’s explore avenues that leadership and employees alike can employ to ensure that the workplace experiences fostered are positive for all colleagues—including those who identify as LGBTQIA+.
Unique Challenges
Roughly 7.1% of the U.S. population identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or something other than heterosexual—double the percentage (3.5%) found by Gallup when they first measured it in 2012. This can in large part be attributed to sociocultural shifts in recent decades in increased acceptance, challenges to heteronormativity, and legal and policy protections and support for LGBTQIA communities. However, it would be an understatement to say that a lot of work remains to be done before there is complete acceptance and inclusion for these groups. Continued hetero and cis-normative stigmas attached to the processes of coming out, transitioning, bringing partners to work events, and more, are unique stressors experienced by those in LGBTQIA+ communities. Not having a positive and inclusive workplace experience is often attributed to a lack of awareness of, or comfortable access to, formal and informal support resources, even within openly LGBTQIA+ friendly communities. This is especially unfortunate because, due to the daily barriers imposed by less than inclusive behaviors and practices, members of LGBTQIA+ communities are twice as likely to experience challenges to their mental health compared to heterosexual adults, and transgender people are four-times as likely. Smaller work sites in both urban and rural communities can carry many of their own unique challenges to LGBTQIA+ folks living as their authentic selves in the workplace. One example is that lower populated areas means increased visibility for those who are “different”, and the deep interconnectivity of these communities often means that “everyone knows everyone’s business” and that ripple effects make it harder to escape societal stigmatization.
Practicing Self Care and Allyship
Despite the challenges of belonging to a historically underrepresented group, there are still a number of ways that LGBTQIA+ folks can advocate for their own healthy workplace experience—and how allies can advocate alongside them.
It’s more than OK to set boundaries.
Do not feel like you have a responsibility to educate your coworkers. Remember that you are allowed to prioritize taking care of your own wellbeing first. Members of marginalized communities often feel obligated to either always be “on” as a social advocate or to endure mistreatment in the name of maintaining peace. Just remember that you ultimately do not owe anyone an explanation or a justification. Feel free to communicate boundaries should you feel uncomfortable, and don’t feel bad about leveraging a manager’s or HR’s support.
Be an Ally!
Make sure that your LGBTQIA+ coworker(s) know that they have someone in their corner. But don’t be too quick to play “the savior”—even with the best intentions, it’s possible to worsen the situation by arguing or escalating where you’re not wanted. Be sure to follow your colleague’s lead and act as needed accordingly. However, be aware that in some situations, even if your colleague would prefer you not to engage, there may be a compliance obligation to your employer to report the matter. Consult with your organization’s code of conduct and policies accordingly.
Some additional tips:
Take measures to avoid potentially “outing” anyone. If your coworker has shared their authentic self with you, they’ve probably made it clear who can and can’t know. But regardless, never assume! Follow your coworker’s lead.
Be on-call as an ally. Whether you’re with your LGBTQIA+ colleague in-person or just offering support with a phone call or Zoom from afar, practice intentional listening to support. Avoid minimalizing their experiences and make it clear that you’re more than happy to lend a ear.
If your coworker doesn’t feel comfortable advocating for themselves in a specific situation, have a conversation about how you can support. Again, don’t assume to speak for them, but be present and ready to leverage yourself on their behalf if the ask is made.
Closing
While being bombarded with questions, judgments, and rejections can be dampeners on anyone’s experience—especially in the workplace—it’s important for LGBTQIA+ folks to remember that their only obligation for comfort when it comes to embodying themselves authentically is to themselves. If your workplace is one where there is room for improvement around creating inclusive space for LGBTQIA+ identified colleagues, doing your part to be a vocal ally can make all the difference in making a positive experience for others. And don’t forget that regardless of what support system you may or may not have access to, that there is no shame in reaching out for support. Because we all deserve to enjoy, thrive, and survive the workday.